


Coping

by SaraJaye



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety Disorder, Bad Parenting, Established Relationship, Hugs, M/M, Medication, Nighttime, Panic Attacks, mention of meth addiction, mention of vomit, window entry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-14 13:11:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19274008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaraJaye/pseuds/SaraJaye
Summary: He was ten when the doctor finally diagnosed him with anxiety.





	Coping

They'd never go away, the doctor said when he was ten. Even after the meth worked its way out of his system, even if he cut out coffee and meditated and slept well, anxiety was permanent. _Frankly, we're surprised you've gone this long without a real diagnosis,_ the doctor had said. A competent doctor, all the way in Denver, he'd had to take the bus while his parents were at work. It was a miracle he'd made it through the ride without losing his shit.

For ten years it was either ADD or too much coffee or too much meth and his parents hadn't even bothered to have him checked out. Tweek knew he shouldn't be surprised, how many years has it been since any parent in South Park gave a damn? Even Kyle's mom, who'd once _waged war on Canada over a cartoon about farts _, doesn't care anymore.__

__He'd gotten Dad to sign the forms for his meds, and that was it. No offering to sit down and talk it out, no therapy, no apology for making it _worse_ for ten years._ _

__At fifteen, he only has his boyfriend to rely on now. Craig's gotten a little better at listening over the years, even if he still tries to fix it, but at least Craig _cares_._ _

__The attacks come at night, mostly, because anxiety's a bitch who likes to ruin nice things, especially sleep. Sitting up, clutching his feverishly pounding heart, stomach churning, feeling like he's about to puke and the world would end just after. World ended up anxious teenager's puke, Tweek thinks bitterly._ _

__With shaking hands, he grabs for his phone and sends a text. In the beginning, he and Craig would talk via voice or text, but one night it got so bad Tweek couldn't form words with either and Craig had rushed over. After that, they'd designated an emote as their panic button, and whenever Tweek sent it Craig would know to come right over._ _

__He's there in less than five minutes, climbing in through the window. Tweek left the ladder there ages ago and luckily his parents never bothered to take it down. He tries to steady his breathing as Craig climbs onto the bed and hugs him tightly._ _

__"It's okay, babe, I'm right here. Just breathe, okay?" Tweek nods, clutching the fabric of Craig's pajama top so tightly it's a wonder he doesn't rip it. Craig's warmth, his scent, the feeling of his hands rubbing his back slowly wear down the pounding in his heart until it's beating normally again and his stomach stops acting like he's on a roller coaster._ _

__Craig gives him one of his pills and hands him the bottle of water sitting beside the bed, and Tweek takes it obediently. He needs to remember to start taking the pills as soon as the attacks start, the doctor says they're more effective that way. The problem is, during the attacks he can barely _move_ much less get a pill in his mouth and not spill water everywhere._ _

__Every day he wishes more and more that he and Craig could just move into their own apartment. Eighteen is still three long years away._ _

__He sighs, collapsing against Craig's shoulder again. Craig tries to smooth the rat's nest atop his head._ _

__"Thanks," he mumbles. Craig hugs him close, shifting so they can lie down and snuggle under the covers. By now the mattress is developing a Craig-shaped indentation, so Tweek's taken to making his own bed in the morning. Not that his parents would care, but still._ _

__"You're sleeping at my house this weekend," Craig says. "My folks are gonna be at a stupid country music festival and I can't go cause they don't allow minors. Just tell your folks we've got a lot of homework or something." Tweek smiles a little._ _

__"They're gonna be at the coffeehouse convention."_ _

__"Even better." Craig kisses his temple. "How're you feeling now, honey?"_ _

__"Okay, I guess. Tired." Tweek snuggles closer, face buried in the crook of his boyfriend's neck. "Wish it was Friday already."_ _

__"Just one more day, honey." Craig rubs his back. "Get some rest, okay? I'll be outta here before your parents wake up." Tweek nods, letting his eyes fall closed. One more day of pretending not to resent his parents, dealing with school and the usual bullshit, avoiding social media and TV because they still can't shut up about the president or whatever other bad things are going on._ _

__But he has Craig. A social misfit who flips people off, is too logical for his own good sometimes, baby-talks to his guinea pigs, and comes over in the middle of the night to comfort Tweek when he feels like the world is about to end._ _

__That more than makes up for everything else._ _


End file.
